I may be taking a break from research as last week my supervisor, Mark, took his own life. This news has hit me very hard and need to time to grieve. It may seem to odd to note this passing on a blog that only I look at but I need to recenter my self and my thoughts and this blog helps to to do so.
This week I have found it very difficult to work, think and even speak. On Tuesday I decided I wanted to re-read all of Marks work as a way to ‘speak’ with him again. It was and continues to be a painful experience but also highly valuable. I can start to see more clearly the connections he made between my work and systems of labour. Also, one particularly striking connection was from Ghosts of My Life. During the discussion about Tricky in relation to Jungle he discusses the two-fold dispossession of Tricky’s voice . One via Tricky’s insistence of speaking from a female position (the voice of his mother, grandmother and so on). Plus the use of female vocalists as a way to ‘speak’ Tricky’s words/lyrics. What is made clear here is how Tricky is never in full possession of his own voice. This notion of dispossession can be extended to the material of my own project. However, where Tricky possesses some level of possession with regards to his own voice and his choice to reorganise or use another. This is not the case for my material. Rather what is evidenced is a forced dispossession; a dispossession that aims to reconfigure subjects into objects, that offers no hope for possession. it is this notion of dispossession and possession that I had not thought of before. It is something that I want to continue and seems significant to my own project. I am heartbroken that this connection has been revealed under such tragic circumstances. but my hope is to continue writing as my supervisor had championed me to for so long.